Plot Twists: When Life Doesn’t Go According to Script

There’s a meme floating around social media that says, “When something goes wrong in your life, just yell ‘Plot Twist’ and move on.”

                                 

Cute, right? But in real life, we don’t always appreciate whimsical responses to our painful, unexpected moments. Change can be scary—especially when it’s the kind we never saw coming or had a chance to prepare for in advance. 

If you’ve ever said, “I hate surprises,” then you know exactly what I mean. Plot twists are surprises, but not the fun kind. They’re the moments that flip your world upside down—the abandonment of a spouse, a separation or divorce, the loss of a parent, a health scare, a stressful family conflict, and abuse of any kind. Feelings of isolation or alienation can be plot twists, too.

No one expects these experiences to become the main plot of their story. No one imagines that abuse and betrayal can make their happy ever after dissipate or that death and loss can make one feel purposeless. When these things happen, they feel like catastrophic curveballs, forcing us to navigate pain we were never prepared to endure.

So, while that meme is lighthearted, it oversimplifies something deeply complex. Telling someone to “move on” isn’t always helpful—because sometimes, we don’t even know how. How do you move past something you were never ready to handle? I don’t have a perfect answer, but I believe there are a few ways to begin the healing process. These aren’t quick fixes, but they might help you wade through the murky waters of unexpected change.

                                   

1. Remember: All Pain Is Temporary

If you’re reading this, congratulations—you’re still here. You may have thought the pain would take you out, but it hasn’t. You may not feel like that’s a good thing right now, but even hopeless thoughts can pass.

Yes, the loss feels unbearable and the path to healing insurmountable, but this too shall pass. Pain is temporary; we just have to endure—to wait it out. The truth is, you haven’t yet experienced all the good that’s ahead of you. You haven’t met everyone you’re meant to meet either.

That’s something my mom used to tell me whenever I had to grieve fake friends or lying lovers. Even now, as I navigate the loss of my mom, I cling to her words. They remind me that there’s still more—and better—to come.

2. Watch Your Thoughts

“Change the way you think about things—simply, change your mind.”

That was another one of my mom’s antidotes to dark thinking. She called it “stinking thinking”—those negative, looping thoughts can drag you into despair. But we don’t have to accept them.

One of my seminary professors, the late Dr. John Weborg, shared a metaphor I’ll never forget. He asked us to imagine kayaking down a peaceful stream, surrounded by beauty when suddenly, trash starts floating by. You can see empty chip bags, pop cans, bits of food.

“What do you do?” he’d ask. Do you stop and fixate on the trash? Do you paddle toward it to fish it out? And if you reach it, then what?

His point: you can choose to let the trash float on by. You can shift your focus back to the beauty around you. Eventually, the litter fades into the distance.

Our thoughts work the same way. When negative, intrusive thoughts creep in, we can either fixate on them or intentionally redirect our attention to something true, lovely, and good. We can refuse to let them take root—and ask God for the strength not to give them power.

3. Be Gentle with Yourself

“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.”

I heard that once, and it stuck with me. Some days, we fall apart—and that’s okay. Some moments feel unbearable, but they’re temporary. Healing takes time, and grace starts with how we treat ourselves.

Building on hope, watching our thoughts, and being gentle with ourselves can help us move through the hard days and nights with a little more peace.

4. Lean on a Support System

A strong support system helps us practice self-compassion. Having one or two trustworthy people can make a world of difference—a family member, a close friend, a pastor with integrity, or a skilled therapist.

Good support systems balance patience, encouragement, and honesty in ways others can’t. Don’t be afraid to reach out or even build a new circle of support. Healing was never meant to be a solo journey.

                 

The Real Plot Twist

I’ve found these lessons to be anchors in seasons of unexpected change. The truth is, plot twists don’t mark the end of your story—they’re just transitions to the next chapter.

Sure, life throws us into storms and situations we never saw coming. But the key phrase is “going through.” That means there’s another side. We can survive and even thrive despite it all—and that, my friend, is the ultimate plot twist.

Just like in the movies, the hardest scenes often set the stage for something greater. Your story isn’t over yet.

#Abandonment #Loss #Abuse #Heartbreak #LifeChanges #PlotTwists