All Matters of Dopeness (Musings and Comedy in Erie's World)

Divorce (or a breakup ) is grief , remnants of love , and freedom all fighting for space in the same body, in the same psyche. It can be confusing and invigorating. It can also be celebratory, yet nerve-wracking. Sometimes the heaviness of it can convince you that staying is better than leaving (or being left…). Sometimes the heaviness switches to a sigh of relief as the pain of trying to hold on to what can’t be held is finally released. You may not be the one going through a divorce or a breakup, but maybe your friend is on the precipice of change heading into the new year. So…..here is what you have to do to help them in the new season. For Starters, This is not the time for neutrality, balance, “Well, I see both sides,” or “Maybe you should pray for him/her.” Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to hear that. Your friend is not in that space yet. So, what do you do? I’m glad you asked. Here’s how to support your friends through a divorce, or a breakup, the right way. (A quick not...

Tuh! Afraid of what—or whom? I’m about to tell almost every single 👏 scandalous 👏 detail 👏 in the days ahead. 👀😔💔😡🤷🏽‍♀️🫢🤣 But seriously—sometimes the scariest thing you can do is share your story. Telling the world what you’ve been through can feel intimidating for a lot of reasons. Maybe you’re afraid of being judged while you’re vulnerable. Maybe you worry about how the people in your story will react—when, truthfully, they are the source of your pain. You don’t owe anyone the courtesy of hiding or whitewashing your story to protect the ones who hurt you. It’s your story. Yes, sometimes you do have to be mindful—abusers and toxic people can try to retaliate when you speak up. But one of the most powerful ways to protect yourself is by telling the truth. Speaking truth reclaims your power. It breaks the control others once had over you. And honestly, social media can be a powerful place for that. While plenty of people use it for outlandish storytelling, you can use i...

There’s a meme floating around social media that says,  “ When something goes wrong in your life, just yell ‘Plot Twist’ and move on .”                                    Cute, right? But in real life, we don’t always appreciate whimsical responses to our painful, unexpected moments. Change can be scary—especially when it’s the kind we never saw coming or had a chance to prepare for in advance.  If you’ve ever said, “I hate surprises,” then you know exactly what I mean. Plot twists are surprises, but not the fun kind. They’re the moments that flip your world upside down—the abandonment of a spouse, a separation or divorce, the loss of a parent, a health scare, a stressful family conflict, and abuse of any kind. Feelings of isolation or alienation can be plot twists, too. No one expects these experiences to become the main plot of their story. No one imagines that abuse and betrayal can m...

I admit I have trust issues. Let's be for real, folk are wildin' out here, cheating, lying, and a lot of them are simply shady. That's a given. Maybe its even par for the course, but its not the reason for my trust issues. My trust issues are with God.   I just know the extremely enthusiastic churchgoers are freaking out on me right now...lolol. (Y'all know, our brothers and sisters in Christ, who are hypervigilant over other people's faults, are probably reading with disdain at this point.) But if you are still reading, it’s true. I have major trust issues right now...with God. Now before you start rebuking this page, just hear me out. Sometimes I feel like if were to take a sort of satisfaction survey assessing how God has been moving in my life, kind of like on a Trust Likert Scale or something, the score would be pretty low depending on the day. I honestly do not remember a time in my life, where my trust in God took a hit like this. Well, maybe there was o ne o...

  Returning to Paris felt like a deep exhale. There’s a beauty to Paris that stays with you even after you are gone back home. It’s the beauty in almost every nook and cranny, the history hidden in plain sight, and music that seem to carry you throughout the day and night. This time, I wandered through Montmartre, surrounded by art and wonderment walking down the street, riding a carousel, and hiking up the steps to the Sacre-Coeur to attend service.  We took in the dazzling spectacle of the Moulin Rouge and still managed to pause, once again, and take in the beauty of Notre-Dame. We also visited the Ritz Carlton specifically to experience Bar Hemmingway (named after their legendary patron, Ernest Hemmingway) and also went to the Carette Cafe to drink the world's most exquisite hot chocolate. While these all seem to be certainly touristy activities, that view is based on one’s perspective. To me, it was more. They were more than tourist check off items—they were meaningful, G...