All Matters of Dopeness (Musings and Comedy in Erie's World)

There’s a meme floating around social media that says,  “ When something goes wrong in your life, just yell ‘Plot Twist’ and move on .”                                    Cute, right? But in real life, we don’t always appreciate whimsical responses to our painful, unexpected moments. Change can be scary—especially when it’s the kind we never saw coming or had a chance to prepare for in advance.  If you’ve ever said, “I hate surprises,” then you know exactly what I mean. Plot twists are surprises, but not the fun kind. They’re the moments that flip your world upside down—the abandonment of a spouse, a separation or divorce, the loss of a parent, a health scare, a stressful family conflict, and abuse of any kind. Feelings of isolation or alienation can be plot twists, too. No one expects these experiences to become the main plot of their story. No one imagines that abuse and betrayal can m...

The late comedian Richard Pryor once joked about his wife walking in on him having sex with another woman and his attempt to convince her that she was not seeing the situation accurately: "Who are you going to  believe ”, he asked hoping to confuse her, “me — or your  lying eyes ?" While it was just a joke and the audience probably got a good laugh from it, trying to convince someone that they did not see what they actually  did  see is a tactic used by manipulators to gain power and control. It’s abusive, and although the terms manipulation and abuse are not synonymous, it seems undeniable that they often go hand-in-hand when one seeks to gain or maintain power and control over another person. I recall being at a friend's house a few years back and stumbling upon the book, "The Art of Manipulation: How to Get Anybody to Do What You Want".  This book literally provides the "how-to's" of manipulation as well as the telltale signs for kn...