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The Art of Manipulation--?

There is a new and rising interest in an old art....the Art of Manipulation.  Several months back I was thumbing through a book on this topic while I was at someone's house, and I have to admit the book was quite enthralling.  Yet, as engaging as it was it was also scary.  Not only did it give "how to's" on how to manipulate people and play mind games to get them to behave and react a certain way; it also explained just why some people are so skilled at doing so.  The truth is that every person has the capacity to manipulate, deceive, and play games.  While most do it subconsciously, there are those who practice this witchcraft in a very specific way. 

This topic came to mind as I was thinking about the nature of human relationships in general.  At times there are people who do outlandish things, borderline psychotic things, and then pretend they are not doing so in order to make another person look crazy.  I think this is typically seen in romantic relationships with abusive people.  Now...the abuse may not be physical but it can be verbal, emotional, and mental..and in some ways it seems like the latter is the most diabolical form of abuse. 

Let me give an example, I heard of a certain man who allegedly wanted to sever ties with the woman he had been in 'love" with and seeing on and off for years but could not seem to do it so when she got pregnant he threatened to kill her and then commit suicide just so she could go to heaven, he could go to hell, and they could be separated for eternity.  Afterwards, this guy pretended to be in the psychward after being "rescued" from downing three handfulls of pills in a suicide attempt only to turn around and blame everything on his lover.  Essentially he told her that his psychotic breakdown and episode was her fault.  He did this the day they were having a "good bye" talk at her house and when she was really ready to be done. 

How is this manipulation?  Well, if someone's in love and their counterpart attempts suicide, regardless of the circumstances, it usually draws the person in in a nurturing and protective way.  In effect, what this guy said he wanted and what he did had contradictory effects.  To futher his manipulation, when she reached out to him he threatened to get an order of protection against her.  It did not matter that he was still calling and texting her to update her on his health.  In fact, all the while he was doing so he was telling people that she just would not leave him alone and had everyone thinking she was crazy.  I am sure you can guess the result.  She was devasted while he was busy controlling and engaging her in psychological warfare. 

Now this may be extreme...seems dude has a flair for the dramatic...but there is no doubt that the art of manipulation was at play in this situation.  Perhaps there are subtle, benign, uses of manipulation but it is still all manipuation.  Whether or not we use the art to gain employment, impress a new love interest, or run for political office...it is still in use.  Yet, when sinister people combine there penchant for deception with a practice of manipulation lives are ruined, countries go up in flames, and chaos eventually ensues because the truth eventually is uncovered. 

We all "got game" so to speak, but it seems to me that the best game is being honest.  Perhaps honestly and upfront behavior and speech work so well because people don't expect it.  As I was thumbing through the book I remember thinking I wanted to get rid of any manipulative characteristics I may have--we all have them.  I know that running game on people is the way that most get what they want, but the truth is I want to continue to use my powers for good and not evil. I will always draw people because its my nature...  In general, I dig people and because I seek to add to people's lives and not take away from them...  I will always have the power of influence.  I don't need to manipulate to get ahead.

Just saying..... 

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