Go On And Take That "L" (How to take Your Loss Like A Champ)

Last year was rough.  Most of us agree with the memes going around that say "Forget 2016". In fact, we started giving 2016 the side-eye when David Bowie died, and by the time Phife Dawg died and Prince died, we were pretty much done with 2016.  The next thing you know the whole country took a "L", suffered a loss, with Trump being elected, and with Zsa Zsa, Rickie Harris and George Michael dying towards the end we are all like "Forget 2016".  Truly, 2016 was the year of taking a loss, the year of the L.  

With that said, some of these non-grim reaper-type L's people took for loss of love or unrequited love in 2016 were well deserving or simply a part of life, not warranting dramatic displays of grief, and yet folk were straight clowning! So...while we are gathered here today to talk about this thing called life, we also have to talk about how some of y'all need to learn to take those L's correctly in 2017.  Consider this a crash course on the etiquette of taking L's.  Maybe you messed up, so...  Or, maybe you simply weren't chosen, so....  Life happens. If you are stuck perhaps working through the following scenarios will help you.  If you can identify with one of the characters in the scenarios then the advice is meant for you, and you know what you have to do.  Go on and embrace that L and move forward.  


Scenario 1:  Meet Karen. Karen has a crush on AJ. Its apparent.  She shows up to every social event he is likely to attend, stalks his face book page, and obsessively talks about him to select people.     Eventually she and AJ become cool since they always see each other out and about, so Karen begins to think meeting him is kismet.  Of course he is flattered; he does a little flirting, nothing more, but that is all Karen needs to stake her claim on him. Months later she sees AJ at an event talking to Celeste, a woman she is cool with and that is when the problems begin.  

Now, Celeste and Karen are friendly, but they are not friends so Celeste knows nothing about Karen's obsession with AJ until she and AJ hit it off, and Karen almost loses her mind.  She goes from being cool with Celeste to being a supreme Celeste hater real, real quick.  She starts calling Celeste asking her not to talk to AJ, saying that AJ is wack, a womanizer and what not, but Celeste is like, "No bueno".  She wants to see what's up with him for herself especially since Karen's overall behavior is suspect.  When that doesn't work, Karen starts calling AJ to feed him negativity about Celeste, begins questioning him about their dates, and starts telling him that Celeste has a man. AJ isn't going: he lets Karen know that he plans on continuing to see Celeste.  At that point Karen starts telling people that she doesn't see what AJ sees in Celeste and that Celeste is foul for talking to a dude she likes.  Basically she turned into a complete messy nut job while smiling and tee-hee-heeing in Celeste face.  


What Karen doesn't know is that because she has liked a few of AJ's friends all at the same time, and because she has done similar grimy type stuff to other people besides Celeste, and even to her friends, the people she tries to gossip with just place her on the "pay no mind list".  The more ish she starts, the crazier she looks all because she refused to take that L. 

 Can't win them all.  Such is life.  

Now, if you are able to identify with Karen then I am hear to tell you to go on and take the L and get over it. You lost.  There is no sense in letting your jealously run amok towards your own personal "Celeste".  There is nothing to compete over: just try to let go.

Scenario 2:  Meet Adam.  Adam's girlfriend just dumped him for a variety of reasons:  not making her a priority when it mattered, spending time with other women, lying, stalking, being corny, and the list goes on. Adam is upset.  He is upset because she "wronged" him, and he is so upset that he has decided to take to social media to demonize her through his status updates and posting of passive aggressive memes.  He posts the type of stuff that makes his bros look at him sideways and makes his female friends concerned about his emotional heath.  Adam is also a texter.  He is an angry, upset texter who's woman just dumped him.  After he deletes and blocks her from social media, he resorts to texting his ex, ten part messages every few hours, about how she is no good and what not.  The more he texts and the more she hears about stuff he is saying about her on social media, the more it is apparent that he is having difficulty taking his L.  His refusal to take the L is not a good look. 

If you were Adam and I was your friend I would tell you that you are looking goofy as hell right now.  Goofy and crazy.  I would remind you that there should be #notearsinthebeer, and tell you to pull it together.  Now, if you see yourself in Adam let this be a reality check to you.  While you are pontificating about love, pain and loyalty and dismissing your own shortcomings, everyone pictures you as a crying Jordan meme and wishes you'd log off your computer or phone.  

 I mean, honestly, what did you think would happen anyway.  You knew it was going to come eventually. Women get fed up over time and there is nothing you can do about it.  Have you never heard the R Kelly song??  





Instead of posting crazy emo stuff on social  media, texting, crying and carrying on maybe you can simply shake you head and walk away?  Go on and take that L--in a more dignified manner.  It can help you in the long run.  If you practice proper L talking etiquette now, in the future you won't look crazy acting a fool when you have to take one as a consequence or maybe you'll change your ways and not even have to take a L for the same behavior.   The bottom line taking L's builds character for those who keep doing the same stuff.

Whether you are Karen or Adam, whether you have your own particular scenario in your head about how you are going down in flames trying not to take your L just know that there are people out there cracking up, straight laughing at you so hard that there stomachs ache right now, all because you are letting your insecurities, pride and jealousy show.  There isn't a person born of a woman who has not experienced some sort of rejection, and at times it may be that person's own fault or just the nature of the beast, but being a cantankerous hater is not helpful. Grieve how you grieve, but don't attack someone else because your situation isn't working out like you had hoped or envisioned it would. Go on and take that L and then move on with your life and kill the game in your own unique way.