5 Bogus Reasons Men Propose: Before You Say I Do (Joking but serious)

People say that a man never marries a woman unless he loves her. Lies. Some men propose for reasons that have nothing to do with love. Now before a few of ya'll get your drawers in a bunch because I am writing about men, know that I am aware that the same can be said of women. So....this is not an anti-man piece. However, we are going to look at men because its not often that this is something that is not usually talked about plus it will make you think and laugh. O.k.? Thanks.

Let me break this down so that it is "forever and consistently broken". There are probably a million reasons why men propose marriage to women, and I am sure that deep committed love is the #1 reason, but here are five bogus but note-able ones: 1) To keep up with the Joneses 2) For legitimate religious sex 3) To upgrade their lives 4) To get over an ex 5) Pressure from biological clocks

1) The Jones Proposal: The men who need to be on the same perceived as being on the same level as their peers will suggest marriage soon after dating someone (but they are likely to keep their dips on the side and get her a nice dip gift to bribe her arse into keeping quiet). See, this is the dude who proposes because his boys are married, so he needs to feel like he is in the club--like he can pull a wife to. Its especially important to the one who is always pulls up the rear in his circle: he has to find a way to keep in the race. That's where you come in, sis. He needs you. You make him look like a winner, and lets face it, if you say yes then he probably is #winning since no one wanted to commit to him on that level before. I am not sure how many points you are actually worth, but I am sure your tally marks are at least in the hundreds. That's the upside. The downside is that you may lose points if he is actually wack.

2) Legitimate Sex Proposal: Some men feel bad when they smash random chicks...esp. preachers,and well...some Christians in general. Now, don't get it twisted. They will still smash, but eventually if they feel bad enough they will bust out a ring and work up the emotions it takes to get married. Now, the marriage may not last, but hey, at least that good ole' sex was legitimized. The downside is that while you may think God brought him to you because he probably told you, when you are facing the possibility of divorce you'll start questioning your faith. If that happens just know your estranged husband is the devil, and you got duped. Next time...marry for money, though. That's what they say, ya know? First time for love; second time for money. J/K you'll be aight; you will love a marry a greater man but vet thoroughly first.

3) The Upgrade Proposal: This may or may not be connected to the Joneses proposal. The upgrader is the guy who has probably done enough research on you to know that getting with you is a come up. Face it...if you are attractive and have better credit/ more money and greater access to different social circles. Your are a triple threat and a definite prize to the upgrader. He may be on his game as well, but if your game is even better you may be getting proposed to in the near future. He is sure to be a sweet companion--maybe even loyal. He needs you, and one knows not to sh*t where he eats, so your marriage to this guy may last a little longer then the other two. Maybe 7 years? After 7 years his credit should be repaired, and you will have encouraged him to move along in his career, so you will probably be divorced after that. Sure, that is the downside, but the upside is you will probably use the anger to fuel you towards your next goal. You seem like a go-getter to me, so you will be ready when the time comes.

4) The Payback Proposal: You are the winner...of a loser. Seriously. His ex didn't want him so he hurried up and fell in love (infatuation no doubt) and is convinced that you are really his life love. This whirlwind goes on for about 6 months until you find evidence of a shrine to his ex in his house somewhere. I am sure you will find cards, photos, teddy bears, etc...whatever else he has used to cling to her. Even his friends and family will keep reminding you about how this b*** hurt their boy and how much more dope you really are then she ever could be. While this is probably true, do you need his proposal? What if he changed his facebook status to show the world that he had moved on with you it was really to announce it to her and get her attention. That means he is a lame, and my guess is that she is lame to. You can do a lot better. The downside my be temporary loneliness, but the upside is that you will end up marrying someone later who fits you...and neither one of you would have settled. Trust me.

5) Biological Clock Proposal: Men want and like babies! Their hearts melt when they see dudes with babies and kids, but they can't really say, "Awwww, bruh. Look at you. That's what I want." If they do that somebody will call them gay and probably slap 'em. However, be very clear a lot of men have a certain something that tells them its time to reproduce so they can extend their bloodline. There is nothing wrong with this, but please, make sure that he is not simply proposing to you because he wants you to have his baby. I guess this one is harder to figure out because if you all have been dating for a while the next logical step may seem to be marriage and a child, but you need to make sure he would want to marry you even if you could not or did not have children. How do you figure it out? I don't know. I don't recommend games, though, so perhaps give it more time if you have doubts about this. However, if you have just start dating him and he starts going on and on about kids and then burst out with love feelings and wanting to have a family I say be cautious. Like I said this type of proposer is more difficult to figure out because as women most of us want this! All the right things are being said, but the downside is you choose to accept the risk you may eventually be a wife turned baby mama.

I hope this has been helpful. Lol...and to you I say..."Congrats, maybe?"