At a going away party some years ago you could feel the anticipation in the air as people wondered who would be showing up for me as a date. It was my party after all, and even though I did not move away (the absence of a relocation package will mess that plan up every time), I did manage to have some "movement" and that was demonstrated by the fact that I decided to have a date. For years my friends had been used to me talking about a certain man almost religiously, but that day had gone on. I had a new outlook and a few new beaus in my scope. That is what earned me the nickname Ms. Options ("Mrs" currently), and that is precisely what kept people wondering who the heck I invited as my special guest. Even though the special guest and I ultimately ended up just being friends. The nickname "Ms. Options" stuck because it was clear that I had choices beforehand and could decide if I wanted a couple of other guys to accompany me. Its good to have choices, right? I think so, and even if those "choices" don't pan out the way you and I plan, we still have other options.
I am a champion of options.... I am sure more that a few of us have saw a meme or two on facebook tell that we should never make a person a priority that person treats you or I like an option; frankly, I believe everyone should be given option status. No one on the board, or roster for that matter, gets special treatment, attention or consideration. That is only fair...especially in the beginning when the interests should be at a minimum in the first place (hell, sometimes this has to apply after years--if there is a dramatic plot twist in the story). [Disclaimer**This does not work when meeting someone is kismet. When it seems like the two of you were just meant to meet and are completely in sync he or she usually trumps all others. Try to avoid this. But you can't really because it's kismet. Ahh haaaa!]
It does not take a genius to figure out that I am talking about dating at this point. Although I am technically married, currently separated pending Lord knows what, I think its good to have some action. I am not talking about action as related to sex or physical intimacy, but I am talking about people expressing interests. Since I have been separated I have had a ca-zillion brothers trying to speak their piece, and some have been quite interesting...especially the ones who have their own options. Some have tried to present me with some type of chess match, so I bow out gracefully in those cases. I abhor games, and if I am forced to play any game it will be with someone I am committed to for the long haul. However, there is always an outlier, a person differing from all other members of the group or set; that person is sure to be a problem..take you right off your option square, but I digress.
The key to this "having options business" is to never go on the other person's options list, and if you are on it and do not know it at least protest going into rotation. Granted it takes getting to know if you or the other person have mutual interests before you can have some kind of rights, but you have the right to employ one of your "options": just pick the one who is into you--demonstrated by how you are being treated. You should never feel like you are on a roster or in rotation. A smart person will never give you a hint that you are a mere option, and to be respectful you should not let that be communicated either. What am I saying? Basically, be realistic, unless you know your situation is solid and strong, you are probably an option, but so is the person you are spending time with. If you are his or her option but he or she is all you have then you are at a disadvantage. You need a couple new "situations" to be even. Once you have these options you will not be able to get bogged down emotionally if someone lets you down (e.g...does not call/text back, or breaks plans, etc...) you just dial up the next person. Its great! Trust me. As a matter of fact, when you are stuck or bored go head and text all your options. The one who responds the quickest gets the prize--the prize of your company. At the end of the day, you are the gift, right? Of course you are! Therefore, it does not make sense for you to rotation--or at least know that you are in rotation.
Essentially, if someone is not giving you a comparable amount of energy then replace them with someone else. Utilize your options. Put in some of your bench, and have some fun--unless you are ready to settle down or are settled down. In these cases you should blossom where you are planted and put in work with the priority person you have. ;)
I am a champion of options.... I am sure more that a few of us have saw a meme or two on facebook tell that we should never make a person a priority that person treats you or I like an option; frankly, I believe everyone should be given option status. No one on the board, or roster for that matter, gets special treatment, attention or consideration. That is only fair...especially in the beginning when the interests should be at a minimum in the first place (hell, sometimes this has to apply after years--if there is a dramatic plot twist in the story). [Disclaimer**This does not work when meeting someone is kismet. When it seems like the two of you were just meant to meet and are completely in sync he or she usually trumps all others. Try to avoid this. But you can't really because it's kismet. Ahh haaaa!]
It does not take a genius to figure out that I am talking about dating at this point. Although I am technically married, currently separated pending Lord knows what, I think its good to have some action. I am not talking about action as related to sex or physical intimacy, but I am talking about people expressing interests. Since I have been separated I have had a ca-zillion brothers trying to speak their piece, and some have been quite interesting...especially the ones who have their own options. Some have tried to present me with some type of chess match, so I bow out gracefully in those cases. I abhor games, and if I am forced to play any game it will be with someone I am committed to for the long haul. However, there is always an outlier, a person differing from all other members of the group or set; that person is sure to be a problem..take you right off your option square, but I digress.
The key to this "having options business" is to never go on the other person's options list, and if you are on it and do not know it at least protest going into rotation. Granted it takes getting to know if you or the other person have mutual interests before you can have some kind of rights, but you have the right to employ one of your "options": just pick the one who is into you--demonstrated by how you are being treated. You should never feel like you are on a roster or in rotation. A smart person will never give you a hint that you are a mere option, and to be respectful you should not let that be communicated either. What am I saying? Basically, be realistic, unless you know your situation is solid and strong, you are probably an option, but so is the person you are spending time with. If you are his or her option but he or she is all you have then you are at a disadvantage. You need a couple new "situations" to be even. Once you have these options you will not be able to get bogged down emotionally if someone lets you down (e.g...does not call/text back, or breaks plans, etc...) you just dial up the next person. Its great! Trust me. As a matter of fact, when you are stuck or bored go head and text all your options. The one who responds the quickest gets the prize--the prize of your company. At the end of the day, you are the gift, right? Of course you are! Therefore, it does not make sense for you to rotation--or at least know that you are in rotation.
Essentially, if someone is not giving you a comparable amount of energy then replace them with someone else. Utilize your options. Put in some of your bench, and have some fun--unless you are ready to settle down or are settled down. In these cases you should blossom where you are planted and put in work with the priority person you have. ;)
QUESTION!!!
ReplyDeleteWouldn't those technically just be male or female friends that we not smashin?
You just exposed all these women right before Christmas too! :)))))
ReplyDeleteNow every female that ask me to come hang out gonna have to give me some in the first 20 mins. or I"m out. LMBO!
No...male or female friends we are not smashing should simply be friends. But that brings up the whole issue of can men and women even be platonic friends or isn't one of them always trying to be more. Meh
ReplyDelete