I Really Don't Fool With Dude Like That...(Why Some Women Can't Be Bothered...)

*A Throwback Worth Re-Posting*

Let me first start off with a disclaimer.  I love men.  My father was a man; my brother was a man, and some of my closest friends are men...  I have been blessed with really good men in my life (family, friends, etc....), so I do not want this to come off as if I am being harsh on the men (And at some point I am going to go in on women too because I feel like the "game" is messed up because we are compromising and flooding the market with certain commodities that should only be given in marriage, but I digress).  But today, I am about certain men. If you are a man and this doesn't apply to you, then, amen. However, if it does apply then maybe it'll help you get your mind right.  If you are a woman then you already know why there are some men we just cannot fool with, but here is our reminder.  

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Some men think women give them a hard time, treat them casually or nonchalantly, or cut them off or use them for no reason.   Interestingly, most of these men are treated in a variety of ways because they have been categorized and do not even know it.  They fail to understand that they are not the type of men good women really want to deal with.  The truth is, we try not to be rude (okay...not too rude), and we play them off, ignore calls, or even relegate some to being men we allow to take us out and nothing more because we really don't fool with them like that.  This discrimination is not arbitrary; its based on a variety of reasons.  In fact, here are some of the "I really don't fool with dude like that" scenarios:

1) Dude lied about his situation

In today's world of loose living and "anything goes" it seems ridiculous that a man would lie about whether or not he has a woman (and/or children), lives with someone, or is married.  There are folk who just want what they want for however long they choose.  We're not looking at perceived morality right now just obvious facts.  It seems that a man can feel comfortable with being upfront and honest about the women in his life and give another woman the choice to walk away or to stay with whatever the it brings.  When things do not add up, and he is forced to tell the truth, he tries to rope her in emotionally through "friendship". By then she has no respect for him so he gets put on the "pay no mind" list.    

2) Dude is in a situation

I know I just said it is better for a man to tell the truth about his situations and give a woman a choice, but the truth is...a good woman does not need choices.  When she finds out a man is involved she will no longer entertain the idea of getting involved with him.  So, basically, it’s a "catch 22" for a man who has a woman, wife, or some other situation.  A good woman is not going to hurt another woman because she is not thirsty and trifling like that--besides she really does not want that crap coming back on her.  (You reap what you sow.)  No complaint about how the chick at home is not handling business or how a man can have more than one soul mate is going to cut it either.   A dude running this script gets ignored and then snapped on or exposed if he persists in chasing her because she does not fool with dude like that. 

3) Dude keeps using "marriage talk" as game

This one is especially annoying.  There are some men who know which women are "the marrying kind" so they constantly bring up marriage and family as a way to keep women on their string and thinking about them. Yet, that is all they do.  This type of dude talks about whatever the woman has day dreamed about when she was a little girl just so he can tug at those heart strings.  This is sooooo low down.  The truth is this dude has an agenda or two: he is trying to sleep with a woman and knows (especially if she is a Christian and actually abstaining from sex) that he has to play the role if he will ever get some, so he helps her live in a future fantasy.   Then there is the dude whog strings a woman along with "marriage talk" but tells her he is just not ready.  The hope here is that she will stay on the shelf until he is ready.  In the mean time he dips off and does what he does.  A dude like this does not seem to understand why a woman only fools with him when she wants to be taken out and wined and dined.  That's all he is good for basically.  He is relegated to the dude who should be used until a woman finds a good man to marry--for real.

4) Dude is bi-sexual or homosexual and pretending to be straight

A man who is lying to himself about his own sexuality is likely to lie to a woman he is trying to be involved with or seeking to be with in a relationship.  While there are some who are struggling (and who need to not approach women--in my opinion) there are those who are not struggling but are just flat out deceitful about their sexual orientation and preferences.  A lot of times a brother like this is faithful in church and thinks that in order for him to live as a good Christian he has to find and marry a good Christian woman.  At the end of the day he is being deceptive and selfish--even if it is out of confusion.  Then there are times when a brother, who is bi-sexual or homosexual, is pretending to be straight simply because he feels like it is his business and he does not need to disclose.  Besides being a dude that a good woman does not fool with, this deceitful dude will get "the business" when the truth comes out.  You can translate "the business" how you see fit.  (Side note:  It is no wonder why people actually research folk they are getting involved with these days.  Blind trust often leads to victimization.)  

5) Dude is a Neanderthal 

Good women are not opposed to submission, but they understand that submission is mutual.  They also understand that submission is for marriage.  When a man approaches a woman as if he is her teacher, parent, and/or authority that is a huge turn off (for most women).  An example of this would be a man who devalues a woman's career, hopes, and dreams and views them as less than his own yet expects her to celebrate him without any celebration for her in return.  I suppose we could throw in the man who believes that when he gets married he is to be the king of his home and she is to be a loving servant.  She is supposed to cook, clean, take care of the kids, and do the laundry after she gets home from work--while he chills.  Really? A woman who does not fool with this type of dude believes in a partnership where both share responsibilities and spend their time trying to please each other.  A good woman will respect a respectful man, but she will cut a Neanderthal off quickly.  And...no, it’s not because "she does not know her place": She just kniw her place is one of equality and respect. And perhaps she also understands that this type of man is majorly insecure and she, frankly, has no time for this.  

While there are only five categories listed above this list is no way exhaustive, but it provides insight into the conversations that women have discussing certain men.  Perhaps this article will help some men to understand why certain women keep ignoring them or treating them less than they feel they deserve, and maybe it will remind women that we are not shady because we do not fool with certain dudes.  Keep it moving.