All Matters of Dopeness (Musings and Comedy in Erie's World)

"Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time." Arthur Ashe I could not formulate a better philosophy about trust then the one stated above. Many times people thing that trust is something automatically given, but in my opinion, trust should not be expected off the bat. In our day and age people are always "creeping on a come up" and looking for ways to get over one another. Manipulation and usury are on the menu with healthy servings of each as the daily specials. We have all heard stories about how one person "stole" their best friend's lover or how somebody purposely pretended to be something other than what he or she really was in order to dupe their "victim". Yet, when we hear these stories they rarely phase us--unless of course there is some type of bizarre twist. You know why that is? It's because we know folk are shady out here. We know that it would be foolish to go around trusting folk all willy ...

"Are you going to wear that?"  "When are you going to start working out?"  "Do you think we should break up?" On the surface these questions seem innocent enough. Better yet...they can be interpreted in a straightforward manner if the speaker really ONLY means what he or she says.  However, questions like these can also be "double entendres" and that is indeed a problem.  A double entendre is a statement that has an ambiguous meaning because the language lends itself to more than one interpretation. Let's break these questions down:  "Are you going to wear that?" could mean the questioner wants to get your outfit prepared for you, he or she thinks you would look good in that outfit, or he or she thinks the outfit is terrible and if you wear it there might be cringing and a proverbial shaking of the head.   "When are you going to start working out?" This question is terrible because it could mean that the person wants to wo...

*A Throwback Worth Re-Posting* Let me first start off with a disclaimer.  I love men.  My father was a man; my brother was a man, and some of my closest friends are men...  I have been blessed with really good men in my life (family, friends, etc....), so I do not want this to come off as if I am being harsh on the men (And at some point I am going to go in on women too because I feel like the "game" is messed up because we are compromising and flooding the market with certain commodities that should only be given in marriage, but I digress).  But today, I am about certain men. If you are a man and this doesn't apply to you, then, amen. However, if it does apply then maybe it'll help you get your mind right.  If you are a woman then you already know why there are some men we just cannot fool with, but here is our reminder.   ********************************************************************************* Some men think women give them a hard time, treat th...

I remember it like it was yesterday.  The year was 2005, the country was Ghana, and the feeling I had deep within was a mixture of gratefulness and anticipation.  I had longed to go to Africa as a little girl, and was most sure that my mother, brother and I would go as a family.  Well, a year and a few months after my brother’s death I found myself getting off of a plane with my new "boyfriend", looking wide –eyed all around me, and thinking about how the people I would be with were not who I had planned to be with on such an adventure.  Kim, my new friend and team leader, met us at the airport accompanied by a couple of West African PIONEER ministry leaders and got us started on our journey.  We spent several days in Accra and then went south to Tema where we stayed with Enoch and Lydia, a doctor and a dentist who were native Ghanaians, before heading to the Elmina Slave Castle in Cape Coast towards the close of our trip. We were constantly on the go:  pre...

As a kid I used to always hear, “You are what you eat”.   The thought behind this was that whatever you ingest will exit your body.   Though this phrase was some kind of campaign for healthier eating choices many people saw its usefulness in applying to the spiritual dynamics of life.   Whatever you feed yourself is what you live out.   If you feast on shadiness and hypocrisy than you will vomit those things out in the lives of people you interact with.   If you continue to feast on yourself (being all about your desires and wants only), to the exclusion of others, then selfishness and self-centeredness will come out as your rulers.   If you let envy and jealousy be your fuel and motivation for moving ahead then you will continue to be a jealous-hearted hater all your life.   What goes in comes out—whether you like it or not.   I think this was the issue with the “Sheeps and the Goats” Jesus had.   Matthew 25 records Jesus as saying that Fath...

A short while ago Oprah actually had a show talking about things that women learn in their thirties.  I had been saying that my learning curve happened in my twenties and continues in my 30s.  I have always been thought of as a person who is wise beyond her years but there are somethings you just can't learn until you have lived and taken some lumps and suffered some bruises.  For some reason I thought I learned that a lot of people are grimy and selfish when I was young. My first bestfriend dated my first "boyfriend" behind my back when I was in grammar school and my other bestfriend did the same thing to me behind my back when I was a freshmen in highschool. I concluded people were scandalous early on and was proven right repeatedly, but it never phased me much.  I just kept it moving.  I had no idea that there was intense seasons of life coming to teach me more about people. ...

I basically stopped liking Alicia Keys when she married Swizz Beats.  Well...I tried.  I could never deny her talents and gifts but I just thought getting with someone who was married was tacky.  In fact, when I heard the song "Unthinkable" I thought she had a lot of nerve because rumor has it (and rumors always have truth in them...lol) that the song is about her and Swizz.  He and his wife were said to have been having difficulty and were separated when he and Alicia got together, but I felt like that was too much.  It's was my opinion--and I was entitled to it--as I am now.  Ironically enough, as I listen to the words of this song I have managed to move past my initial opinion and into some form of contemplative thought about what it means to be drawn to someone you "should not" be drawn to because it is taboo.  I have found myself singing: "I was wondering maybe/could I make you my baby/if we do the unthinkable would it make us ...

There is a new and rising interest in an old art....the Art of Manipulation.  Several months back I was thumbing through a book on this topic while I was at someone's house, and I have to admit the book was quite enthralling.  Yet, as engaging as it was it was also scary.  Not only did it give "how to's" on how to manipulate people and play mind games to get them to behave and react a certain way; it also explained just why some people are so skilled at doing so.  The truth is that every person has the capacity to manipulate, deceive, and play games.  While most do it subconsciously, there are those who practice this witchcraft in a very specific way.  This topic came to mind as I was thinking about the nature of human relationships in general.  At times there are people who do outlandish things, borderline psychotic things, and then pretend they are not doing so in order to make another person look crazy.  I think this is typically seen in romant...

We all love and appreciate ebonics, and it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are because everybody borrows from black culture. Heck, at times I wish I could just make up words and set them out in the universe to gain popularity (when you have degrees in English less people challenge the authenticity of the words you use...ha!), but I can't.  I don't have a problem with ebonics, slang, pidgin English, or any other standard  language deviation its when people champion the cause of made up words that I have a problem with. For example, "conversate" is constantly used in place of "converse", and thats the ish that feds me up...lol.  The truth is it doesn't necessarily irritate me...it just makes me feel sad and then I want to go into correcting mode (again...English major here). It's not that I am "too good" to misspeak...if you know me then you know that although I have a type A personality I make mistakes, albeit rarely--but mistakes ...

I am feeling a little bit like Sidney from Brown Sugar at this point, but I am not really sure if its because it is 1:15 in the morning and I have been ridiculously tired for about four days straight and the sleep is taking over.  Perhaps I feel like Sidney because my birthday was Wednesday, and it was preceded by my obtaining another Masters degree, Mother's Day celebration and a couple of family functions and followed by more kicking it and packing to the plight of moving.  Really her transitions and movement help me to relate to her character.  Or...maybe I feel like Sidney because I am suppressing some deep love for a certain person and using hip hop as a metaphor to live it out.  Nah... I do think that the best relationships are built on solid friendships...and not the "friendship zone" type of friendships but healthy ones filled with love and mutual attraction.  Yet, its majorily frustrating when you can't tell what ...

Pardon me, but this blog is not so funny.  The game is so different now; it seems that being grimy is the new black.  I was talking to a brother (a cutie by the way...lol) who was dropping knowledge about just how different people are these days.  Even though I think he and I would conclude that some people have always been sociopathic, something is extra at this point.  Usually they say that history repeats itself but in this case not only is history being repeated...its being added to.  There is a new level of widespread grime out here.  It seems that people can look you in the eye, and even shed tears, yet stab you in your front--because stabbing you in the back is just not gutter enough.  Perhaps this blog was sparked in reflection on the passion of Christ and the betrayal of Judas, or perhaps this blog was sparked in the realization that there are a myriad of Judas-types running rampant among us.  It just...

Same swag, different day As some people may want to say But the truth is their swag is stuuupid Or stupendous but... only to themselves 'cause The mirror mirror on the wall Told them lies, saying they were the dopest of all Got them walking around proud and tall Head all off in a fog Caused by the smog birthed from the hot air they blow Steeped in the deep part of their souls Its to that place that they go, where life is a show And emceeing is all they know Hard to break free when panties are being thrown Business cards are being show, and jets are being flown And you just want to be put on One...just get a tag for your bag Play like you just got back from there, son Keep moving around with other phony ones Playing like they networking but really club hopping Fake studio and video spot shopping But only up north Chicago 'cause thats what's popping I think you better just stop it See, there's respect for the grind You don't just get to shine 'cause you feeling st...