All Matters of Dopeness (Musings and Comedy in Erie's World)

(Written by Anonymous.... Many thanks xo) I met him one summer while studying at an HBCU in VA. He was funny, flirty and gave me the attention that showed me he was attracted to me. I was 16 but mature enough to recognize what I was feeling. He was a short funny guy with a Brooklyn accent and New York slang. He and I lived on different coasts so when our program ended we knew we wouldn’t see each other again unless it was planned. We kept in touch, in the days before rapid text messaging; we talked on the phone for 3 hours at a time whispering under covers at night or in the bathroom after my family had fallen asleep. I hadn’t had a long-term relationship in high school or dated anyone seriously before this so it was a big deal to me that we kept in touch after summer, through winter and into the spring. I had been accepted to a school on the East Coast, and my mother and I planned a visit during my spring break. Of course, we planned to see each other and counted down the days til ...

"Keep ya head up (what), Keep ya head (that's right) Whenever this life gets tough you gotta fight With my home girls standing to my left and my right True Blue...And Tight Like Glue" One of my favorite television shows back in the day "Living Single". It was based on four women who were not only roommates and family (or like family) but were also really good friends. The theme music says it all: "In a nineties kinda world I'm glad I got my girls". The show chronicled their journey through life together, and it allowed the audience to see the characters' flaws, disagreements, fall outs and reconciliations as time went on. This show was sisterhood in action. Nowadays there is no show on television that compares to it. Today's shows portray women gossiping, fighting, trying to steal each other's men, etc.... I guess whether it is "Living Single" from the nineties or some ratchet show today--art imitates life? I wonder if i...

In light of the return of Scandal I deided to post something scandalous. I kid. But just thinking about the fact that the show is starting back up this week reminded me of the how the last season ended. Olivia snapped, and won me over as a bit of a fan. Truth: I am not a gladiator. Hell, at first I was not a Scandal fan at all. I am not a champion of adulterous relationships, even during separation, so I couldn't really vibe out with the show initially. Some how that changed as I learned about the twists, turns, plots, and of course...the Scandal parties. I decided to check it out and discovered that I could be against Olivia and Fitz being in a relationship and for Mellie at the same time. I could also like Olivia and every other character on the show. It wasn't so complicated. Scandal is filled with not only scandals (to be redundant)and taboos but it is also filled with quite a bit of social commentary. That is one of the things that keeps me watching--...

People say that a man never marries a woman unless he loves her. Lies. Some men propose for reasons that have nothing to do with love. Now before a few of ya'll get your drawers in a bunch because I am writing about men, know that I am aware that the same can be said of women. So....this is not an anti-man piece. However, we are going to look at men because its not often that this is something that is not usually talked about plus it will make you think and laugh. O.k.? Thanks. Let me break this down so that it is "forever and consistently broken". There are probably a million reasons why men propose marriage to women, and I am sure that deep committed love is the #1 reason, but here are five bogus but note-able ones: 1) To keep up with the Joneses 2) For legitimate religious sex 3) To upgrade their lives 4) To get over an ex 5) Pressure from biological clocks 1) The Jones Proposal: The men who need to be on the same perceived as being on the same level...

At a going away party some years ago you could feel the anticipation in the air as people wondered who would be showing up for me as a date. It was my party after all, and even though I did not move away (the absence of a relocation package will mess that plan up every time), I did manage to have some "movement" and that was demonstrated by the fact that I decided to have a date. For years my friends had been used to me talking about a certain man almost religiously, but that day had gone on. I had a new outlook and a few new beaus in my scope. That is what earned me the nickname Ms. Options ("Mrs" currently), and that is precisely what kept people wondering who the heck I invited as my special guest. Even though the special guest and I ultimately ended up just being friends. The nickname "Ms. Options" stuck because it was clear that I had choices beforehand and could decide if I wanted a couple of other guys to accompany me. Its good to have choices...

You know folk by the books they read. I am not sure if this statement is true at all but maybe there is some truth in it? Who knows? But several months back, while at a friend's house, I was thumbing through a book called "The Art of Manipulation" and I kinda looked at her crazy. I have to admit, though, the book was quite enthralling--at first. It was also scary. This book literally broke down the steps and gave "how to's" on manipulating people and playing mind games with folk so that they would behave and/or react in certain ways, and it also explained just why some people are so skilled at doing so. The truth is that outside of your everyday sociopaths and psychopaths, everybody has the capacity to manipulate, deceive, and play games. While most do it subconsciously (or at least use self deception to pretend they do no know its what they are doing), there are those who practice this "art" in very specific ways. At times there are peop...

"Anybody can fall in love, falling in love ain’t sh**. But somebody please tell me how to stay there....” (Love Jones) A crucial question is asked above for those of us who are married, involved in romantic relationships or desire to be in one. In the movie Love Jones, Darius is expressing to his best friend, Savon, his disappointment in the fact that Savon brought a woman other than his wife to a party his friends were hosting. Savon and his wife were only recently separated and he turned his affections to another woman. He was clearly acting out and Darius decided to confront him as any real friend would. When confronted and told that he was wrong for what he was doing, his response was filled with searching and questioning. Many of us, if we have ever had deep feelings for someone and they have hurt us or made us angry, may have had the same thoughts and questions as Savon. "Anybody can fall in love": is one of the truest statements ever. In fact, I am not sur...