Skip to main content

Brown Sugar and the Problem of Love

I am feeling a little bit like Sidney from Brown Sugar at this point, but I am not really sure if its because it is 1:15 in the morning and I have been ridiculously tired for about four days straight and the sleep is taking over.  Perhaps I feel like Sidney because my birthday was Wednesday, and it was preceded by my obtaining another Masters degree, Mother's Day celebration and a couple of family functions and followed by more kicking it and packing to the plight of moving.  Really her transitions and movement help me to relate to her character.  Or...maybe I feel like Sidney because I am suppressing some deep love for a certain person and using hip hop as a metaphor to live it out.  Nah...

I do think that the best relationships are built on solid friendships...and not the "friendship zone" type of friendships but healthy ones filled with love and mutual attraction.  Yet, its majorily frustrating when you can't tell what your friend thinks or feels; you can't express what you think or feel, and you don't want to think or feel what you think and feel.  That seemed to be what was happening in the movie Brown Sugar.  Two people, crazy about each other for as long as they have known one another, decided to charge their feelings to the game and keep it moving.  Obviously, that can prove to be problematic...especially when one gets involved in some seemingly committed relationship and, of course, the other one does the same later on.

I always say that just because you love someone does not mean you will be with him or her.  Life does not always work out the same way the ending did in Brown Sugar.  Sometimes you have to lose.  But...I can't help to wonder how many times things would work out if people simply learn to open their mouths and express what they are thinking and feeling. Yet, I am aware that "in love" feelings often produce some type of imbalance where people can neither think straight nor decipher the legitimacy of their own feelings...lol.  Maybe its kind of like operating from hysteria...who knows? 

Ahhhh...the confusion one can find himself or herself in when feeling all Brown Sugar-ish.  Yeah...I'm feeling a little bit like Sidney from Brown Sugar at this point, but I am not really sure if its due to the fact that it is 1:32 in the morning, or if I am in love, or if I used to love him--"him" being hip hop...of course. ;-)  Or maybe its simply that this movie typifies unvocalized love and my sleep deprivation is causing me to really relate to it.

Word. 

Comments

  1. CarenaMay 23, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    :) love is such a tricky thing but yet one choice can make your dream become a reality. But that one choice is most of the time chosen by one person... hmmm so then is it really love? *shrugs* me dont know lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. nilwonaMay 24, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    I agree that the best relationships are build on solid friendships...so much so that I believe that the man I marry will be one I was first friends with...(People look at me a lil funny when I say that, but anything else would be really awkward for me...so I just keep waitin on the Lawd!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Erie CatizMay 24, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Carena, I don't think love should be that mysterious...lol. I think it has to be a two-way street; at least that is preferable. :)

    Nil, I agree. I have to be friends with my husband first, and I have to be attracted to him as well...lol. I used to be mad when I thought I would marry a friend, but I think it was because at the time I had no remote interest in any of my male friends...lol. Nothing has changed there, but I must be besties with my boo thang...hahaha.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Attraction, Pheromones, and Hennessy

🎶 Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that could be...let's talk about sex.  Let's talk about sex.  🎶 Since sex is always a hot topic and because people are either always doing it, trying to do it-- ya know--the sex, or thinking about doing it, I figure we can at least talk about it.  Well, maybe we can just scratch the surface by looking at a few things that lead to sex: attraction, pheromones, and Hennessy. Attraction, pheromones and Hennessy (which will mean brown liquor or any alcohol in genera in this blog article) each have the capacity to affect your feelings, and those feelings dictate actions and behaviors for a lot of people. Although, its  based on a person's individual make up, I don't think we can deny that attraction on any level, pheromones, and Hennessy enable us to be more open to situations and people we should not otherwise entertain.  As a matter-of-fact, the...
6 comments
Read more

Returning to Paris felt like a Deep Exhale.

  Returning to Paris felt like a deep exhale. There’s a beauty to Paris that stays with you even after you are gone back home. It’s the beauty in almost every nook and cranny, the history hidden in plain sight, and music that seem to carry you throughout the day and night. This time, I wandered through Montmartre, surrounded by art and wonderment walking down the street, riding a carousel, and hiking up the steps to the Sacre-Coeur to attend service.  We took in the dazzling spectacle of the Moulin Rouge and still managed to pause, once again, and take in the beauty of Notre-Dame. We also visited the Ritz Carlton specifically to experience Bar Hemmingway (named after their legendary patron, Ernest Hemmingway) and also went to the Carette Cafe to drink the world's most exquisite hot chocolate. While these all seem to be certainly touristy activities, that view is based on one’s perspective. To me, it was more. They were more than tourist check off items—they were meaningful, G...
4 comments
Read more

The Art of Manipulation: Gas Lighting and Domestic Violence

The late comedian Richard Pryor once joked about his wife walking in on him having sex with another woman and his attempt to convince her that she was not seeing the situation accurately: "Who are you going to  believe ”, he asked hoping to confuse her, “me — or your  lying eyes ?" While it was just a joke and the audience probably got a good laugh from it, trying to convince someone that they did not see what they actually  did  see is a tactic used by manipulators to gain power and control. It’s abusive, and although the terms manipulation and abuse are not synonymous, it seems undeniable that they often go hand-in-hand when one seeks to gain or maintain power and control over another person. I recall being at a friend's house a few years back and stumbling upon the book, "The Art of Manipulation: How to Get Anybody to Do What You Want".  This book literally provides the "how-to's" of manipulation as well as the telltale signs for kn...
7 comments
Read more