All Matters of Dopeness (Musings and Comedy in Erie's World)

Can solid, monogamous, healthy relationships develop between black men & women in 2016? Its aint looking good for the home team. I have grown exhausted of hearing sistas say there are no good, employed, straight, educated, professional black men. The question for me lately has been: "Do they even know when they've come across one"? I wonder if some are so oblivious, self-absorbed, damaged and high post that they overlook good men right in their eyesight? Or maybe some are looking for an Idris, a Common, or a Hill Harper...or...for a brother to drop "dollars and sense" on them or "shell out that dough" as one said to me? At 40 years old I have had a few long lasting relationships, those unfortunately ended, but chivalry definitely wasn't the issue. What I have learned through those experiences and over time, though, is that the ingredients for a good relationship are friendship and communication. A true fondness for one another as individuals is...

More than likely you've been in a situation where you had a significant heart break that prompted you to become a little loose with your standards--hopefully not, but you may have thought about it.  Maybe you decided never to love again or some dramatic equivalent or perhaps you just wandered into a shady and unsavory situation due to several factors.  We all have had our experiences.  Sometimes people jump into multiple relationships. Some people hide from love and sabotage themselves going forward.  Some people get hurt by heathens because they fail to walk away from stuff they should have never engaged.  Hopefully, this article will serve as a way for you to shake yourself and regroup as you remind yourself just how dope you really are!  While tongue in cheek, there is some help or at least comic relief for you. I'm Sorry.  I'm Just Not Your Type. Lets explore that one time you were sad or lonely or bored or...whatever and you decided to hang out wi...

(Written by Anonymous.... Many thanks xo) I met him one summer while studying at an HBCU in VA. He was funny, flirty and gave me the attention that showed me he was attracted to me. I was 16 but mature enough to recognize what I was feeling. He was a short funny guy with a Brooklyn accent and New York slang. He and I lived on different coasts so when our program ended we knew we wouldn’t see each other again unless it was planned. We kept in touch, in the days before rapid text messaging; we talked on the phone for 3 hours at a time whispering under covers at night or in the bathroom after my family had fallen asleep. I hadn’t had a long-term relationship in high school or dated anyone seriously before this so it was a big deal to me that we kept in touch after summer, through winter and into the spring. I had been accepted to a school on the East Coast, and my mother and I planned a visit during my spring break. Of course, we planned to see each other and counted down the days til ...

"Keep ya head up (what), Keep ya head (that's right) Whenever this life gets tough you gotta fight With my home girls standing to my left and my right True Blue...And Tight Like Glue" One of my favorite television shows back in the day "Living Single". It was based on four women who were not only roommates and family (or like family) but were also really good friends. The theme music says it all: "In a nineties kinda world I'm glad I got my girls". The show chronicled their journey through life together, and it allowed the audience to see the characters' flaws, disagreements, fall outs and reconciliations as time went on. This show was sisterhood in action. Nowadays there is no show on television that compares to it. Today's shows portray women gossiping, fighting, trying to steal each other's men, etc.... I guess whether it is "Living Single" from the nineties or some ratchet show today--art imitates life? I wonder if i...

In light of the return of Scandal I deided to post something scandalous. I kid. But just thinking about the fact that the show is starting back up this week reminded me of the how the last season ended. Olivia snapped, and won me over as a bit of a fan. Truth: I am not a gladiator. Hell, at first I was not a Scandal fan at all. I am not a champion of adulterous relationships, even during separation, so I couldn't really vibe out with the show initially. Some how that changed as I learned about the twists, turns, plots, and of course...the Scandal parties. I decided to check it out and discovered that I could be against Olivia and Fitz being in a relationship and for Mellie at the same time. I could also like Olivia and every other character on the show. It wasn't so complicated. Scandal is filled with not only scandals (to be redundant)and taboos but it is also filled with quite a bit of social commentary. That is one of the things that keeps me watching--...